As you may know, Target strikes up these amazing (in theory) relationships with hip, young designers. As you were perusing September's ELLE magazine, your eyes may have fallen upon several images of delicate, lingerie-inspired dresses. "Holy mother of sassy lace slips," you may have exclaimed, "If only I could afford that new dress by Rodarte." Enter Target, and my ensuing White Girl Tragedy.
Rodarte is Target's newest designer to design a collection for the masses, and what does a white girl love more than two other white girls who are infinitely hipper than she could ever be? Check it:
These girls have everything--side bangs, sultry stares, and unparalleled access to headless mannequins swaddled in chiffon. Plus, their clothes are beautiful. [Cue White Girl Adoration.] Even more importantly, for their Target line, they have designed an amazing collection of hosiery--lacy tights, printed tights, polka-dot tights, OH MY!
With all of this excitement in my heart, I set out for Target on December 21st, the day after the Rodarte line showed up in the stores. This required me to drive for half an hour, in the rain, in pre-Christmas traffic, all the way to the store. Once there, I fought fiercely for a parking space in the sprawling Target lot--I stuck my tongue out at fellow drivers, stalked people to their parking spaces, and considered parking in the space reserved for returning shopping carts. Alas, my quest for a spot was thwarted, and I was forced to park in the adjoining Petco lot (preliminary assault to my dignity and precursor to the WGT extraordinaire).
Once parked, I ran into the store, body-checked old ladies with carts full of toys for their grandchildren, trampled the toes of said grandchildren, and ultimately arrived, panting and flustered, at the aisle I had dreamt of: the hosiery aisle. But wait, I thought, I didn't come here for argyle dress socks! I don't want control top pantyhose!! WHERE ARE THE DOTTED SWISS TIGHTS BY RODARTE?
Nowhere, I will tell you. The tights of my dreams, the tights I had potentially and unintentionally assaulted unsuspecting shoppers for, were not being sold at this particular Target location.
Shoulders hunched, sniffing back tears of frustration and disappointment, I skulked from the store, without even a bag of pita chips from Target's Market Pantry or a new effing blender to show for my efforts. White Girl Tragedy.
As I read this, I was thinking it was Paul writing and I chuckled but was not surprised when I thought that he, after not finding the tights he was searching for, "sniffed back tears of frustration and disappointment." Makes more sense that Sonia wrote it, though. Those tights are great though. I might have to hit up a Target and hope to avoid a similar White Girl Tragedy!
ReplyDelete